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Baby Ray, Musings

CNY Woes – Do NOT feed me without my mama’s permission

31 Jan , 2016  

 

I’ve managed to coast through the previous two CNYs comfortably – by this, I mean it had pretty much been a breeze breastfeeding Ray freely during those CNY visits, as well as avoid giving him processed concoctions chockfull with sweet poison, AKA sugar, and other nutritionally devoid ingredients (bleached, processed flour, potato chips, salt, chocolate, brrr….you get the drift), collectively known as CNY GOODIES. He was pretty much an infant for the past two CNYs so it was easy and manageable, but last I checked, he has since leveled up to toddlerhood and is his own little man now, which is  a different ball game altogether.

 

Hence, I reckon this year will be a challenge. As a full-fledged walking, talking two-year-old, Ray is interested in things that we adults eat. At this age, adults (especially the older folks) generally think nothing of it if he’s given sweets, cookies, biscuits, tarts etc during CNY. Some words I expect to hear this year will be:

 

“Aiya, he’s old enough already!”

“Little bit won’t die”

“Cannot grow up sheltered! Next time when he’s older and eats these, what if his immune system cannot take it? Must train him now”

If you don’t give him these food now, in the future he will also eat what!”

“He will be so deprived! Poor thing, all these nice food cannot eat. What if everyone likes all these cookies next time but he doesn’t? He will be the odd one out!”

“So big already still drink milk milk? Shame shame!”

 

Oh man. These are things that I’ve heard people comment, or variations of it to me over the months, and honestly, sometimes I am so tired of defending my stance , so as a service to all other like-minded parents, let me just refute these devoid-of-scientific-reasoning comments here.

 

“Aiya, he’s old enough already!”  – Old enough to simi? Certainly he has the ability to chew and ingest anything edible, but what are you saying really?

“Little bit won’t die” – Of course I know it won’t kill him. But ok, let’s do abit of logical reasoning here. Is sugar good for health? Is salt good for health? If they are not, why should I feel him those, EVEN IF it doesn’t kill him? What I am not afraid of is the act of him eating that little bit of cookie or biscuit, what I AM AFRAID of is him DEVELOPING A LIFELONG LOVE for these cookies and biscuits which are ultimately bad for him, and potentially give me trouble when I try to feed him comparatively more boring, healthy food.

“You eat these cookies what, and you bake them too. Why are you depriving him while enjoying these yourself?” I admit that this is somewhat a double standard, but I am not about to make the whole world cave in to the diet I’d like my son to adopt right (inc myself)? Ahhh maybe if I had not eaten cookies when young, I would dislike them now? Anyways, the point is, I know the double standard being applied here but it’s the kind of parental logic where if I was addicted to smoking (which I am not), I will definitely not let him smoke too because it’s bad for him. It’s that kinda parent logic you know? And lastly, if he doesn’t think he’s deprived by not eating cookies, why should you make it YOUR duty to make him feel deprived?

“Cannot grow up sheltered! Next time when he’s older and eats these, what if his immune system cannot take it? Must train him now” – Simi logic is this? LOL. Mithridatism? (the act of ingesting small, non-lethal amounts of poison over time in a bid to immunize one’s body against poison) You will never be immune to the bad, bad effects of sugar. It builds up over time dude, so the mithridatism argument definitely doesn’t work here.

“If you don’t give him these food now, in the future he will also eat what! You cannot control him forever.” Well, I am not so foolish as to think that I can control my son forever, and I FULLY accept the fact that ONE DAY, he will eat all these unhealthy stuff, perhaps in copious amounts. Who knows? But I will NOT regret that I have tried my darmrest to give him as varied a healthy diet for as long as I can possibly help it, especially when his young and tiny little body is still developing. I will NOT regret that by not giving him these foods now, no matter if it is one cookie or ten, I am helping him to develop a taste for healthy food over unhealthy food. What I know I WILL regret is if I SUCCUMB to this shitty little thing called PEER PRESSURE, SOCIETAL PRESSURE, GROUPTHINK and EVERYONE-KNOWS-BETTER-THAN-MAMA mentality and cave in by feeding him things that I believe and know are bad news for his little body.

“He will be so deprived! Poor thing, all these nice food cannot eat. What if everyone likes all these cookies next time but he doesn’t? He will be the odd one out!” Seriously??? This is a legit argument??? Is depriving your body of all things bad a bad thing? And junking the body a good thing? And by the way, have you ever felt ashamed of not liking a certain food that everyone else loved? Nope? Then neither will my son, ok.

“He’s so skinny, you should let him have abit of CNY goodies to fatten him up.” Erm do you know the difference between good fats and bad fats? This is why I give him avocadoes, not cookies. I don’t need to fatten all other chances of diabetes etc, thank you very much.

“So big already still drink milk milk? Shame shame!” – Everyone is big on breastfeeding these days, and it’s really great. But the moment breastfeeding moves into the extended breastfeeding camp (breastfeeding beyond one year), suddenly even the pro-breastfeeding mamas start to furrow their brows and throw judgmental, loaded questions and advice. Since when has there been a timer attached to the act of breastfeeding? If we all know that breastfeeding has benefits for the child EVEN BEYOND one year of age (THIS IS TRUE, I aint making this up y’all), why are we denying a child what he loves and what is good for him? And this SHAME SHAME thing annoys me to no end. If I don’t teach him to be ashamed of breastfeeding, the only way he will feel ashamed is IF YOU teach him to be. And may I know why would you teach him to be ashamed of something that is completely natural, endorsed by the World Health Organisation (WHO), has good health benefits for both Mother and child and reduces his chances of becoming sick? If there is no shame in drinking cow’s milk, certainly, there should be no shame in drinking his mama’s milk. My boobs are for nourishing young lives, not sex toys so there’s no need to frown upon them when I whip ’em out, yeah?

 

And if you still feel it your duty not to deprive my son of all these CNY goodies that  everyone else enjoys, please kindly also make it your duty to stay up with him through the night should he fall ill, be it directly or indirectly a result of ingesting crap in his body. Sick kids are whiny, needy, and vomitty. Urgh, I really don’t wanna go there. I hardly get any of those days (in fact, bubs falls sick MUCH LESS OFTEN than Pips. Hmmm maybe I should alter my hubby’s diet too hurhur) and I aint about to take a road towards that.

 

What’s more, I ain’t even a mama of a kid with allergies, so can you imagine if you just fed someone’s kid some cookie, and that kid breaks out in hives the next day? Big, red welts peppering angrily across his tiny body, all because the cookie you fed him contained some sugar/dairy/nuts etc that he’s allergic to? Sure you meant no harm, but fact is, harm has been done. You aren’t there for the days after to deal with a sad little tyke who’s itching to scratch his entire body apart, or see the worried look etched wearily on the parents’ faces. Not a pretty sight. Feel a little guilty now, don’t we? Chin up my friend, I never thought of these things until i had a kid myself, but we all learn, so it’s better that you learn now that mama knows best, and respect the parent’s decision, than later. Erm, and for the record, mama knows better than papa. Papas are usually ok to anything (they just wanna chill and enjoy their CNY) but the smart ones will defer to their wives’ decisions lol.

 

Anyway, because I am such a frigging awesome (tiger) mama, I have already baked an awesome batch of healthy granola for him just yesterday and during CNY, he can have the granola that he loves instead. Will post the recipe soon (it’s really simple and smells heavenly!). I am also going to pack fruits and nuts that he adores and let him snack on them as we adults snack on cookies. He will not be deprived of the taste of cookies if he has never had them. #truestory

 

Another trick I’ve learnt as a two-year-old mother is that I’ve truly understood the folly of my ways in trying to stop others from giving him things and then making him feel deprived when he’s told by me at too late a juncture that he can’t have them. Why look like a baddie eh? So I’ve adapted my ways and here I do a little bit of a parental lie, which I accord upon myself as my parental right LOL. I’ll tell him that the said cookie he has his eyes on is spicy, and then offer him the choice of having it. See what I’m doing there? I am on his side.

Usually these days, he will refuse, because he has ACCIDENTALLY taken spicy stuff before and avoids them like the plague (no I didn’t force them upon my son. I am not an evil mother ok!). If any uncle/auntie insists on giving him those cookies, he would recoil because they are forcing it on him lol, and in comes Mommy to save him from spicy cookies! Yay! I come out as the good guy here lol.

On the odd occasion when he still insisted on wanting said cookie in the past, I had on occasions, put a little choppd garlic/ginger on it and offered the said cookie to him. Now, this is where I again, get judged for being so bad and black-hearted to give him ginger or garlic, so let’s get down to basic logic and principles.

 

Is Garlic good for health? Yes

Is Ginger good for health? Yes

Are cookies good for health? No

 

So if he wants cookies, and I give him those but add ginger/garlic to them, what is the worst case scenario? It will be him spitting out the cookie, and not wanting to eat it. Which he shall have no more since he spat them out and didn’t like the taste. He will be satisfied with that, as will I. Alternatively, he could possibly still eat everything, and grow to love ginger/garlic too. Which can only be a good thing that comes out of something not so good, so what’s so bad about what I am doing?

 

Garlic/ginger ain’t poison. Articles after articles that you read online extol the health benefits of these two Gs, and if I can get my son to love them from a young age through a little culinary deceit, there really shouldn’t be any reason why you think me evil to do so, right? Get this, I am not forcing it down his throat, I am offering and giving him a choice, just not the choices that the world generally gives.

 

With that said, I hereby end my CNY post lol. If you happen to see a kid with a tag behind his shirt that says, DO NOT FEED ME WITHOUT MY MAMA’s PERMISSION, yeah, chances are, it’s my kid LOL.

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You may be interested in some of my other articles here:

  1. http://jashuat.com/little-reader-series-cultivating-a-love-for-reading-from-young/
  2. http://jashuat.com/surviving-a-flight-with-a-baby-in-tow/
  3. http://jashuat.com/baby-rays-1st-overseas-trip-taiwan-part-1-taichung/
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8 Responses

  1. H says:

    Hey Mama Jas,

    We stumble upon your article in Facebook and we just have to share this to our members. We also use your photos with credit caption as well.

    Hope you’re okay with it as we have a monthly page views of 1,000,000 and 500,000 visitor coming in to our website!

    Here’s the link: http://www.thelocalsociety.com/chinese-new-year-woes-do-not-feed-me-without-my-mamas-permission/


    Regards,
    H

    • projectjasmine says:

      Hi Local Society

      I do not mind that you shared the article, but kindly put a working link that links back to my facebook page (www.facebook.com/jashuatbaby) and http://www.jashuat.com (so that it’c clickable, not just jashuat.com) and not my personal fb account, thanks!

  2. […] upon this article on facebook and found it to be a very timely article, given that Chinese New Year is just round […]

  3. Screwthis says:

    Pity him…
    Sugar : cancer
    Process food : cancer
    Salt : high blood pressure
    Veggies : full of pesticides
    If you follow all those research, Then he or WE have nothing left to eat

    • projectjasmine says:

      It’s all a matter of weighing the risks against benefits yeah, versus reality. If I am willing and able to go the extra mile to create a healthier diet for my son without compromising on his happiness, I don’t see why you should make it your duty to pity him. He is very happy to have his granola to eat. And I frankly don’t care what you eat either, because you aren’t my son nor my loved one. So enjoy your food, whatever they may be!

  4. […] article by a fellow SG mommy [http://jashuat.com/cny-woes-not-feed-without-mamas-permission/] can’t resonate better now. Dear people, do not feed babies / toddlers without their […]

  5. Eileen says:

    This should apply whole year thru n not jus CNY. Keep up d good work. Sick kids r a real handful n exhausting. Xoxo

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