Parenthood, Teaching/Education

I don’t like you, mummy

16 Oct , 2015  

“I don’t like you, mummy”

When your 21mo kid says this to you after a long day at work, when you speed walked home and chased after trains and buses just to gain that teeny advantage over time and see the little monster’s face 5 minutes earlier than later, how would you feel and what would you do?

Well, kids being kids, I didn’t feel anger, nor sadness, though I did feel a little indignant and amused in parts.

I thought it was a good opportunity to let him learn about reconciling his feelings with what he communicates; the little man has to take responsibility for what he says! Kids cotton on to things much more than we give them credit for, so don’t be afraid to reason with them. This was how our conversation went…

Ray: “I don’t like you mummy.”
Me: “Are you sure you don’t like mummy? Mummy likes you, Ray. In fact, mummy likes you so much I love you.”

Ray reiterates his point defiantly, “I don’t like you” and stubbornly sweeps his hands in an outward motion, as if to bat me away. Seriously, where do kids learn these? (Actually, I know he learnt it from his 4yo cousin. Kids learn great from other kids, don’t they? Haha)

At this point, I look at Ray, eye to eye, and make my stand, “Are you sure you don’t like mummy? If you don’t like mummy, there’ll be no more hugs and kisses. No more hugs. If you cry, you won’t want to find mummy too, no more kisses if you don’t like mummy. So do you like mummy or do you not like mummy?”

Ray looks perplexed for a moment, and ponders in deep thoughts as only a child can do, which is all of 5 seconds. As if deciding to grace me with his love again, he looks at me and finally said, “yes, I like mummy”.

Yay for me!jaray hug
Everybody say “aww…” lol. Lil bugger obviously likes me right???

Even during moments when our little tykes stamp their feet and declare their independence, we shouldn’t dismiss their feelings and what they say. What we can do is to give them the space to explore their feelings by acknowledging how they feel. Dismissing their feelings will only hurt and anger them, and make them more adamant on bringing their point across to us.

Because if we want our voices heard, why should we deny our kids their voices too?



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