Personal Musings

Why girls dont like stingy guys

8 Oct , 2008  

I wonder, is a love stripped to its barest, truest, purest form enough for this world that we live in?

Gen X and Gen Y’s idea of love today, is more often than not, a love that is dictated by the money spent on dates and girls, by the fast cars driven by equally fast-moving guys, by the needless hours of waiting for the gf to display a dedication to love, by the endless hours spent cross-stitching or dressing up to be a well-heeled accessory on the boyfriend’s arms. This is the love that is presented in its pretty, lushed up form, where the more money a guy spends irrationally on the girl, the stronger the love, the more time he spends doing things for the girls, chasing her, the more he loves her. And for the girl, the more dedicated she is to his needs, to present herself as the doting girlfriend who listens to his words and practically breathes and lives on them, the more she loves him. The love that our generation seeks today, is it as proliferated as Botox is popular today?

Are we able to live with a love that is stripped to its barest form? Where there is no need to spend money on dates, no need for the guys to drive cars and ferry their girlfriends around, no need for girls to pretty up and be an accessory on the boyfriend’s arm, no need for all this additional bling, but simply, a love with a simple, unspoken promise that when the other half is in trouble, one will stand fast by the other, a strong, unwavering love conviction and promise that rises up to the challenge in its simplest form.

Can we, the generation that grows up with technology and born with silver spoons in our mouths, be truly satisfied with a simple love? To go on such dates would mean taking turns to visit the other’s house, occasionally going out to do window shopping or walking around the neighborhoods, enjoying the company of the other?

I believe that the bare love cannot survive today. While the essential promises of trust, commitment and unwavering love must still hold true in the prettied new generation love in order to last, a stripped down version of love will simply fizzle out. Granted, it shows a more materialistic, superficial side to people who seek such love, but I would argue that this is only in a comparative sense.

While love cannot be tagged at prices, J.Lo was definitely wrong when she sang that love don’t cost a thing. Today’s youths in our society are born in a global village, and the edge over others is to get and garner that additional experience out there. In schools, there are many programs that allow students to get overseas exposure, starting from as young as Primary school students (aged 7 & above). As such, this international exposure and wider knowledge of the world at a younger age has led to a thirst for experiences in young people today. How can one then, be satisfied with a love that sets that back and brings them backwards into medieval times, when one’s own personal experiences when leading life as a single presents more fun, challenges and interesting exposure to differing stimuli than when one is coupled up?

When the Old-school (OS) love worked in the past, it was only because compared to social decorum and restrictions, love and dating though bare, was something exciting from the simple lives that people led. It is a comparative thing. Today, this love cannot survive because the environment that we live in is different. Of course, this differs from couple to couple, and also differs from one social context to the next.

If one’s friends are perhaps more passive, homely people, if one does not do much activity with the BF or GF, it doesn’t matter as much cuz the friends aren’t doing anything much either. However, if one’s friends are all doing exciting stuff in dating, such as the boyfriend would drive over in the middle of the night just to surprise the girl, or to plan a surprise date at the zoo, some wine and dine with every detail planned out, then it matters when all one is doing during dating is to mostly visit the other’s home, or meet up after work for dinner before heading home.

Where is the excitement that should be present with love? Often, though not all times, excitement cost money. To go out to the zoo, or to even watch a movie coupled with dinner at a nice restaurant cost money. From a girl’s perspective, (cuz im a girl, duh!) she can perfectly pay for herself, as she always had when single, but she won’t like to. It is not so much because she wants to leech off the guy’s money (unless u can spot signs of gold-digging such as inciting the guy to buy tt LV bag when the guy is obv not rich, or always insisting on gg to fancy restaurants knowing tt she wont be paying), but because she likes being treated like a girl, likes being pampered by the guy that she loves, and loves knowing the fact that while money is not easy to come by for the guy, she is worth more than mere cash.

If a guy finds it hard to part with his cash, or wants to go dutch all the time, or pays for stuff but keeps mentioning that he has no money because of this or that, because the gf is expensive (subjective. Spending the occasional $100 on the gf is certainly not expensive but a $1000, that is a different story) is definitely a nono. This mindset of what a guy should be is a general rule of how girls like their guys, but is more prevalent in the minds of girls with a traditional view of gender roles.

So while Mars and Venus are far apart in geographical distance, comparatively, they ain’t that far, it all depends on one’s perspectives and insights into things.


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