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Ok, there are ONLY TWO THINGS you can do before you’re found out
(1) pray you find the missing ring before anyone else finds it/out
(2) pray your partner has a big heart.
I didn’t manage to achieve (1) but I must have done something right in my past life because I achieved (2). PHEW!!!
Yes, this is a confessional post because yep, I went ahead and did something that usually resides in the realm of Men – I lost my wedding band 💍. GASP!
The cardinal sin said to be committed only by Man, not Woman, has been committed by yours truly. Guess I managed to rack up a point for feminism and equality? Sighs, not something I should be proud to achieve, I know.
Truth be told, I was pretty bummed out when I realised that my ring finger felt a little lonelier, emptier, lighter. Looked at my hands and gasp!!! There was an empty spot where my ring was. Truly an FML moment as several thoughts raced across my mind- where the hell did my wedding band go? It was on my finger moments before! Where could it have slip? And erm… how do I tell Pips that the physical representation of our wedding vows has ahem, gone MIA? FML…
Let me backtrack a little..
In the first month after we had arrived in London, my wedding band slipped out of my finger one day. F M L .
We had spent that fateful day earlier at Regent Park when it started pouring all of a sudden. Quickly, we scooted home and in the midst of all that hustle and wetness, my wedding band must have somehow slipped, away from my finger and into oblivion. I blame losing (pregnancy) weight and the rain for this unfortunate episode. By the time I discovered the empty spot on my ring finger, we had arrived home.
A quick search around the house yielded nothing but futility. Pips saw me looking appropriately distressed and I blurted out the case of Le Missing Wedding Band. I somewhat defended myself sheepishly that technically it wasn’t my fault since I hadn’t misplaced it, just in case I get into BIG trouble unoe. Too often as a kid growing into adulthood, I’d misplace my stuff and boy did I get chewed out for my carelessness. Just wanted to put it out there that this mishap was not exactly preventable.
Luckily for me, my kind and forgiving (there is no better time to praise this man) husband did not chide me, and instead, went back all the way to the park to search for my ring. Oh bless this gorgeous man’s pure, beautiful soul!
Meanwhile, I dried the kids, silently praying and clinging on to a thin sliver of hope that perhaps, just perhaps, it was lying on a grass, all shiny and waiting to return to me, its one true owner and steadfast companion all these years.
It’s funny how we never cast a second look at the little important things/people in our lives, for life with them is as natural as breathing. The moment they’re gone though, a huge sense of loss slowly sets in as I come to grips with the sinking reality that no more is just that. NO MORE. Gone. Sayonara. It may be nothing more than just an accessory (albeit an expensive one) in my case but isn’t it beautiful how we humans imbue meaning into objects and give them life? Urgh I just want my wedding band back! For the value that it holds and more importantly, the memories and meaning it has come to take on in my life! Why so suay!!! Somehow 破财免灾 feels like cold comfort. Not at all comforting man.
Sadly though, after an hour or so, Pips returned home all knackered out, and empty handed. He was searching for a needle in a haystack, and the odds of finding the ring in that vast park was next to nothing, I knew that, I knew all of that, but still, I had hoped against hope, for the knowledge that our bands would never be a pair again was just … sad. You know?
To me, as with any other couple, our rings were not just any rings. It was OUR rings. It was special (just keep quiet and indulge this poor me). It was the symbol of our promise to each other that in this lifetime, we would be together through thick and thin. Not that we are likely to escape from one another, considering how our two little rascals have so successfully entwined our lives, ensuring that we never have much free moments to gallivant and 搞鬼。(erm it sounds like a bad thing, but it’s not really that bad…I think…) But still… urgh I really want my wedding band back.
Pips and I even personally designed our bands to reflect the special bond that we have; those tiny rings told our story. Now, one half of it is lost and the other half is all alone and forlorn, tucked away by its lonesome self in the drawer at night. Of course, the guilt that I was the one who made it disappear is also eating away at me. It’s damn impt, alright, more than my crappy O/A levels certificate, and how can I possibly lose it? Seriously FML. Guys who have made a big boo boo as such, I get how u feel. Seriously. Your wife will probably be a lot less forgiving though LOL.
Over the following week, I brought the kids out a couple of times to carefully track back the paths we took that fateful day. I was still hoping. Perhaps it was nestled in a spot that I had not covered previously? I enlisted Ray’s help too but I guess a 3 year old’s efforts would never amount to much, no matter how many biscuits or chocolates you promise to give should the ring be found! In fact, that rascal lifted my hopes up high a couple of times by exclaiming that he found the ring when really, it was just some drink tab or twig. And then he’d go, “oh I thought it’s your ring.” Liar. Kid, you really know how to sock one to your mom, don’t you?
By the time we revisited the park in search of the ring, i knew deep within the chambers of my heart that there were countless possibilities of it being gone for good – it could have been taken by bird to pretty up their nests, by humans or perhaps washed away by the rain. I don’t know. I even toyed with the idea of purchasing a metal detector, or appealing to social media for help for a superhuman movement in finding my wedding band. But I know the futility, as this was an effort that could not solely be solved by human efforts. We were also up against Mother Nature. Hence, I abandoned my ideas and resigned myself to a life without my wedding band. Though I joke about being a free woman to Pips, it feels a little lonely, empty and strange.
And so, the weeks passed and our wedding anniversary rolled around. We had grand plans for celebrating our fifth year anniversary but alas, Ray developed chicken pox from school so we had to abandon all plans. Thankfully though, his scabs healed and dried up in time and we spent a happy day at Hyde Park.
It was there that Pips, together with our boys, proposed again. Nothing flashy, no entourage of singing friends, hotel backdrops nor huge bouquets of roses. Just him, promising to love me, with our two boys as witnesses.
And then, drumroll please for my devastatingly gorgeous and fantabulous husband, Mr Pips fished out my wedding band, in the same exact design and engravings on it, and slipped it back on my finger. HOLY SMOKES. I was abit confused- was this really my wedding band? It looked abit too shiny (mine were pretty ratty looking after 5 years lol) to be mine.
It turns out that Pips had a new one remade, customized to our exact original designs, and was thoughtful and conscientious enough to make the new wedding band a size smaller to fit my slimmer finger snugly. (Question – why is my finger slimmer but not the tummy? Urgh)
In that moment, one of the moments amongst many in our years of courtship and marriage, I was reminded again of how blessed I am to have found this man, this person whom I otherwise would not have crossed paths with, had we not met in Shanghai and spent almost every day of six entire months with each other.
Sure, the bugger sneakily tries to slack as much as he can possibly get away with before I kick his butt, and is never sleepy until I want to engage in a deep meaningful conversation about life, but at times like these, I’m happy to say that Mr Pips more than rises to the occasion.
It has always been my dream and goal to find a best friend to love, laugh, and live with. In the unlikeliest of places, in the unlikeliest of persons, we found us. You were never my type, if there was such a thing, but as I’ve realised time and time again, there could never be anyone else other than you, Pips.
Thank you for loving me, Pips! And for closing two eyes and opening your wallet 😅 heheh.
What wonderful things have your spouse/partner done for you? It’s time to shake those memories and love it up today!
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