Ahmedabad, India, Travel

fuzziness of familarity

10 May , 2007  

You noe…

I don’t miss or pine for Singapore that much, considering the fact that I’m not homesick in the least. However, that doesn’t mean that I love Singapore any less.

Same goes for my family as well. Haven’t seen mom, Ben or Nick in a looooooong time, and I do miss you guys back home. Even if I feel troubled or wadever, I don’t even have to tell them anything to feel better. For example, just talking to Benji and Nick on skype, bantering with them, talking nonsense, insulting them and having them insult me back… it’s such a nice familiar feeling. (Jeepers, it sounds abit SM when I write it like this)

Feels like a mug of hot chocolate with warm oozy cheese croissant and hot chocoloate fondant on a cold cold morning. India’s good and all, I’m having lotsa fun here but these days, I’m starting to feel really foreign here.

Foreign not in the sense that I’m a foreigner, but that I don’t really belong here, that I’m viewed differently, that people have different expectations and perceptions of me. I don’t feel like people here really know me for who I am, and that makes me feel kinda foreign. And alone. There’s jonneh and ken of course but well, the contingent is pretty tiny don’t you think?

Which is why when I spoke to Benji and Nick on skype earlier, talking to them felt so good cuz I know they know me for who I am, the totality of my personality, and that I am past judgment in their eyes.

It’s a different story here. Not that I am being judged or anything, but just that people have a perception of my character, which may not be who I really am. Not that I was ever one to care about appearances or how people view me ( All those embarrassing things I do in public, and then saying, “who cares? i’ll only see these people once in my lifetime!” is probably testament to that) but feeling like this makes me feel like there’s noone out here who can be my crutch when I feel weak, no winter jacket when I feel cold.

Of all the sunshine tt keeps me grounded in life… family1.jpg

At the end of the day, I’m just a family girl.

Missing you mommy, Benji, and Gen Gen… (dare I say daddy huh Benji… lol) Haha you too baldy. Whenever I’m troubled, I always always think of you. And rant to you. And know that you’re there, somewhere, somehow. And Godma, I noe that u aren’t gonna be reading this (since I didnt even give you my blog add, but I’m glad tt we’re keeping contact via email. Makes me feel all that much closer to you.). Eat more, don’t skip your meals, and dont be too stressed! Mommy, hope that you’re doing well and being healthy and happy. Dont sleep so little! Benji n Nick (Gen), dunno whether u two lazy buggers are reading the blog (prob not, but nee san just might force you to) but study hard, n Gen Gen, jiayou on ur soccer! Hope Tan doesnt kick ur ass cuz of IP commitments. And Daddy… dont nag so much alr lah! hahah

Your bestest daughter and nee-san

Jasmine 😀


2 Responses

  1. benji says:

    pls take down the pic of me and that hideous hair. thnx

  2. jasmine says:

    no way. ure welcome

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *