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Musings/thoughts, Parenthood

Dedicated to all newly minted mamas (papas, take note!)

17 Jul , 2016  

Dedicated to the preggers and newly minted mamas of the world, because, we need support, yo.

 

Dear New mama

Do not fret. I know your world is no longer yours alone, for it has borne a whole new world, courtesy of the little human being that’s now nestled comfortably against your chest. Your love is instantaneous, your love is hesitant. Your love is overwhelming and your love is underwhelming. You wonder desperately if you’re doing things right, feeling things right, and most of all, you’re wondering why you’re wondering at all!

Your body is aching and sore and feel like it’s set on fire and ice all at once. It doesn’t feel like the body you’ve known all these years! That loose flap of a tummy that was once stretched so taut, is now heaped in a lumpy mess, indeed a sorry sight. You take beautiful pics of your new little trophy of triumph, but besides the pic of bubs that appear, you spy the slim, svelte you that you used to be and sigh.

Before you get lost in your thoughts of what used to be, the searing pain at your tummy or pelvic area acts up, a reminder of the constant pain that now plagues you, if not for the lifesaving painkillers that mercifully numbs the dulls the constant hurt. Still, I guess it is a battle scar; a side effect of the momentous ordeal and transformation that you’ve just gone through to deliver a new life into this world. Does it really matter if it’s c-sect or vaginal birth? It hurts all the same but then again, it ain’t nothing compared to the little miracle you birthed!

Ouchie ouch. Ahh your boobs. Never did give you problems but now they will be a source of your (or bubs’) joy and worries. Your boobs are starting to feel hard and your nipples sore, ooh it’s so heavy and rock hard, can these two twinnies really be our soft boobies once? Still, where the hell is that promised milk or colostrum that’s supposed to come in by now? A thousand curiosities, a whole new world. Indeed, we can still learn completely new things well into adulthood.

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Dear New mama

I know your worries are endless, because heck, I was a new mama myself. Now that my bubs is 2.5, I’ve graduated up the ranks to become an old new mama. My worries that I used to worry are now your worries. Is the baby sleeping? Is he breathing? (Those frigging SIDs articles that plagues our everyday!) Is he hungry? Why is he crying? What should I do? Lord help me, I tried everything I possibly could and my equally clueless husband just passed the crying baby to me because he figured, Hey, Mom Knows Best! Men….

But hang in there mama, because if there’s one thing I can promise you, it is that things do get better as you become more seasoned, no matter how raw and new and inept you feel!

In this new path that you embark on, uncertainties will form the foundation of your world. They visit you ever so often, playfully jibing at you just as you start to comfortably settle in your newly anointed role.

Do not be afraid of these uncertainties mama, for they are not your enemies but your friends! Let them guide you into the path of research; enable knowledge to replace fear and ignorance. As you build up a new pot of knowledge from others’ experiences and what you’ve read yourself, you will see that new as you are, you can make decisions as confidently as you used to, based on your gut and based on your newly acquired knowledge.

If there is one thing to remember, it is that everyone, no matter how annoying they may seem or be, want the best for bubs. (Yeah, you probably rank second to bubs. Thus is the unfairness of life. Deal with it LOL). People from everywhere will give you a thousand different advice, and some of these advice may feel as if they are snide remarks or commands designed to ruin your self-worth as a new mother and destroy your life. Coupled with your uncertainties, they threaten to drown you, or boil you in the darkest, deepest pits of anger, but mama, HANG ON!

Everyone is different; no one individual is the same as another. Some have had years of experience raising kids, some dish advice based on hearsay, and then there are some who foist their views unfairly unto you. If there’s one thing to bear in mind, it’s that they’ve had their turn in the sun, and now, it’s yours. Listen to them by all means, and pay heed to them where it counts. Let them question your actions and beliefs. You can turn everyone’s uncertainties into certainty through research, knowledge and experience. But never let what others say dictate the things that you do. You only have one life, and this is it. Sure you are noob as hell, but who cares? Doesn’t everyone start from somewhere?

This is your journey babe, don’t forget it. Yours and Hubs and Bubs alone. Believe in yourself, no matter how raw or naked you feel, and forge on the best you can. Let the naysayers shake their heads and wag their tongues, but just know that you owe it to yourself and no one else, to be true to your beliefs! Who cares if they say formula milk is good? Who cares if they say only to feed breastmilk? You know what’s good for you and bubs, just do the best you can, and never leave room for regrets.

Welcome to parenthood mama. It’s a tough, grueling journey but hey, it’s pretty damn rewarding too!

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Do follow the JASHUATs as we zip around town and the world (we are chronic travellers lol) on facebook and we will share with you giveaways, contests, parenting tips, lifehacks and more!

You may be interested in some of our other articles here:

  1. How to increase breastmilk output (even after six months!)
  2. Apple Crumble Recipe
  3. To the lovely hubbies, we love you (even if we complain lots LOL)
  4. Train your newborn now before you regret and encounter the BOTTLE REJECTION!
  5. http://jashuat.com/baby-rays-1st-overseas-trip-taiwan-part-1-taichung/

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